today i probably accomplished more rigorous activity in one day’s worth than my whole year combined. my lame attempts to work out and my tuesday thursday yoga comparison fall to any comparison to what i had to endure today. as my friend and i sat in my kitchen table, gulping cups of water after water in dehydration and sheer exhaustion of just biking up fucking bubb road, we came to the conclusion we had biked somewhere close to five miles. and sad to say, my friend totally schooled me the whole way through, even with the constant reminder of a motivation that always seems to pump my adrenaline: pretend youre on survivor. when i woke up to find out we were going biking, i was imagining more of a simple ride, nothing as arduous as trekking through hills and bridges and worst of all, ongoing traffic. now, the pants i chose were just a little inconvenient to my ever bulging thighs as they increasingly got more yolked and bigger as the muscles i did not want to exercise were getting their workout from this lance armstrong tour de france shit. after that we go swimming at the seven springs pool where i prune my skin to perfection wading in the kiddie five feet deep pool. fun, real fun. not only was i placed in an awkward situation i wanted nothing to partake in, apparently drama made its way back as if we were being filmed for some pathetically scripted MTV show. and just now, we wisely decided to hike up hunters point only complying because i confused it with skyline which needed no strenuous activity beside moving my neck to gaze at the view and the fact that cupertino is a ghost town and anything remotely “adventurous” was better than locating all of the town’s various “hot-spots”.
im drained in pretty much every aspect right now. with colleges ending and my friends returning for their summer break, i have been so occupied with their availability and void of entertainment that i have realized my feigned energy is actually a cover up from being overly tired. my tolerance for people’s bullshit has gone down and instead of just taking it in, i blatantly retaliate by snapping back and bitching the fuck out of them, sometimes even inadvertently. ive been told i needed a filter. maybe they are right. i need to brita up and avoid inflicting on your pansy little feelings. sorry guys, im just saying what i want to say but would just hold it back in normal situations. yes youre annoying. yes youre high maintenance. and yes youre not always right. and in these situations, i just need to step back, take a breather and just accept my surroundings. and the solution being isolating myself for some time. no more triathlons. no more unnecessary shopping sprees. no more indecisiveness. no more toleration of aimlessly staring to oblivion or driving with no purpose. no more douche-y behavior.
if you read this and feel like its directed to you, dont be so conceited. im just stressed out by a lot of factors and need some way to vent. its not personal.